So it’s spring, just about, and all the little shoots are popping out all over the place. They’ve had quite a journey. In their dark, damp hiding place the seeds start; swelling up with all the moisture in their environment, softening their shell, readying for the break-out of their outer husky casing, expanding from their very core essence. Then they had to start throwing out a tiny strand of root downwards, and begin to bulge out towards the sunlight from deep inside the darkness. The seed has magic intellegence to know the differnece between up and down by feeling for the warmth. Those tendrilings begin their journey in opposite directions, gathering strength, building up momentum, navigating lumps and bumps in the soil, and probably hitting it’s delicate shoot and root head and toes on rocks.
What’s the shoot going to do when it hits it’s head? Cry? Give up? Say to itself, Well I didn’t really want to grow into a carrot anyway? Maybe this isn’t my path? The shoot and the rootperseveres. The life force within it does not know about giving up, or feel disheartened by the odds weighing against it’s success (i imagine so anyway). Even if a big boot comes along and carelessly crushes the little thing, it will persevere and may even make it, past the rocks, slightly crushed, and burst out into the daylight on the stage of the world. Incredible!
I am totally relating to my carrots at the moment.
I felt like that seed towards the end of last year. My seed was absolutely saturated with feeling and tears, humbling me, preparing me for the cracking of my husk. I felt vulnerable and naked and pretty much in the darkness of all my worst fears coming true. Then over the winter I gathered my strength, opening more, casting away more. I aquainted myself with up and down, aligning myself, figuring which directions my new shoots needed to go in,expanding from my very core essence.
Then near the end of the winter I got free of the last bit of shell and started to grow. It was scary, I couldn’t see where I was going. I didn’t know what I was going to do next, or how I would appear out there in the world, anew and strange. February and March I felt more sturdy, more rooted, as I sensed the Earth beneath me, through me, in my fibers and cells. Just gentle sensing, feeling, Wobbling, feeling the dampness of my emotions and spirit. Watering myself with feeling and more feeling. Breathing deeper and deeper into my reserves, and seeking out the rich oxygen of the night.
I started gathering momentum, but the spring came late!I felt confused! Where’s the sun, where’s the warmth to inform me that I’m heading up in the right direction, still not able to see my path? Sometimes I did want to give up, but the seed in me, the essence would not. It pushes me onwards into the unknown. I was just about to break through, I thought, then the boot came, another light crushing. A rock here and there. But I kept my head down and just kept feeling the inner urging.
Then finally I breakthrough!!
Just a weensey bit, almost missable. I’m growing, i’m growing and then Eeeeek! Panic. I don’t know if carrots panic, but i did. Shit I’m scared.
I’m scared because I know what I’m going to be when I grow up and it seems Soooo Big. I’ve been small, underground for so long, living the life inside the husk, knowing my purpose, preparing for my greater purpose, trying out my dreams to see if they really look good on me. Imaging and wondering how I will look when I finally make it, out there in the big wide world. But staying small and hidden. Thinking that I failed, because the dream did look good on me, but I had to leave the dream behind inside the shell.
And now, despite the fear of Boots
and the possibility that I may not make it, the essence strength of me will not give up. It is not from my will power that I grow, but from the Earth Herself, urging, nudging and encouraging like a gentle mother. I grow from the seed of potential and untold possibility in me that yearns to live, to thrive and Expand up and out towards to light and the stars. It is not from my mind because I don’t know how I’m going to get there. When I try to think about that it hurts! Carrots for brains! But I have direction, focus, clarity. I feel aligned, straighter inside by the day as I continue to unfurl from a dream seed that was planted in me a long time ago.
I don’t know what this garden will look like and what the grand design is, but I sense that there is one. That each one of us, as I look around at my fellow sproutlings, are doing the gardener proud! I’m admiring the growth and the courage of the ground-breaking and husk de-sheathing adventures that have happened, and listening with my roots for the other seeds that have another bit of time to go before they make it out. Some will sprout mid summer, while others may wait another season. There is new-ness and old-ness somehow all mixed together.
I’ve always been this way, as I was inside my shell, but now I’m more of it and I can’t control it. Life is dancing with me. Somedays I feel a bit awkward like a teenager, wondering if people still like me, somedays I feel a bit kinky, or funky and have sudden outbursts. Other days I’m like the sun itself with the Emmanating warmth Radiating from my Essence.
And beacause I’m such an admirer of beauty and such an admirer of seeds, I nod my head and bow as the evening sun sets and wish you all a very happy and successful growing.
Tara Love Perry
www.taraloveperry.com ~ Psychic Reading, Soul guiding, Energy Healing and MORE!
* Hello Beautiful Soul! *